


Five people Sirius Black most wanted to snog

by iamisaac



Category: Harry Potter - Fandom
Genre: Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-20
Updated: 2015-11-20
Packaged: 2018-05-02 14:02:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 433
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5250827
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iamisaac/pseuds/iamisaac





	Five people Sirius Black most wanted to snog

Sirius asked me to place these under a cut. He says he was honest, and if I don't cut them he will be more than ever convinced that honesty is NOT the best policy. I'm not hiding them, but if you must laugh at him, do it when he's not looking, please.

1\. Sirius would like you to know that the crush on Ludo Bagman was very, very short in duration. He is only mentioning it because it was the first time that he realised that he wasn't, precisely, what you might call, if you know what I mean, well, cutting to the crunch, that he wasn't 100% straight. And, y'know, Ludo was really a damn fine Beater (and no, there are NO sexual connotations there at all, thank you. We're talking Quidditch terms).

2\. Look, for God's sake, the James Potter thing does NOT mean he has an obsession with people who are good at Quidditch. He had plenty of other reasons to want to snog James... hang on, that sounds bad, too... Well, look. James was his best mate, and if he was going to snog a bloke (and okay, yes, by fifth year he was kind of hoping that he was going to snog a bloke), then James would be the obvious choice. Plus he was fucking sexy. Which was not something Sirius ever told him, clearly.

3\. Sirius denies EVER wanting to snog Lucius Malfoy. In fact, he repeated this six times in the course of conversation. I am somewhat bewildered, therefore, as to why Lucius's name was brought up. I never mentioned him. But to set the record quite straight, Sirius informs me that no, Lucius Malfoy would never, never ever, never, be on his list of people he'd have liked to snog. Never.

4\. Nor would McGonagall. That was just a vicious rumour that did the rounds at Hogwarts because she was always finding him in compromising positions. Sirius did not get into said positions in order to give McGonagall a thrill. She just seemed to always know, and always be there. (But there is something about a Scots accent that Sirius still rather likes.)

5\. Kingsley Shacklebolt. Oh come on. Sirius is not even ashamed to admit to this one. He points out that there is no one in their right minds (male, female or other, straight, lesbian or anyone else) who has not wanted to snog Kingsley. (And he just wants to have a very quick gloat about the fact that he HAS snogged him, by the way. And he still thinks everyone else should.)


End file.
